So its barely 2 years old but Tinder has changed the way we date. Okay window shopping might be a more accurate term than dating for the mobile app but the reality is that if your single your on it! If you're not single you've definitely had a nosey and probably a good laugh swiping through your single friends feed. Its simple, its convenient and its entertaining! Its passed many a commute and who hasn't reset the distance and had a giggle with their friends at the profile of the guy sitting 2 tables away in Starbucks? Too creepy??
In the words of Alex Hitchinson "One chance is all we get" so make your first impression on Tinder a good one. Tinder is shallow at the best of times, you really have to put your best foot, or selfie forward if you want them to swipe right, more times than not this is not the case. So heres a list of the kind of guys you're bound to find on Tinder, ladies I'm sure you've encountered them all, guys please take note!
Guys with beards and lots of them! Seriously there's like an epidemic!
Group photo guy. As much as I like a game of Wheres Wally, Tinders not the place for it.
The guy with a cartoon or funny picture instead of an actual photo... Seriously!
The guy with the kids that arent his. If they aren't yours don't use photos of them in your Tinder profile, we can find out that your great with your nieces and nepews if this thing goes anywhere.
The guy with the mirror selfie that looks like hes never taken a photo before... Aw bless.
The guy with nothing but mirror selfies. Once again… Aw bless.
The guy with the photos of him and/or several ladies. Tell me she's your sister, your friend, your cousin or your ex. Actually don't cos i'm swiping left.
The party guy, festival guy, pub guy, drinking buckets of rocket fuel in Thailand guy… Because there's nothing like an inebriated man covered in uv paint hanging out of strangers or a few bottles of whiskey!
The guy with the sedated tiger. You should be ashamed of yourself. I was there. I cried.
Craggy Island guy. You know Father Ted finished airing 17 years ago right?
The guy on the Iron Throne. We all love Game of Thrones but seriously its filmed in Belfast and 80% of us have seen the exhibition. You're impressing no one.
The marathon runner, To Hell and Back guy. If hes run a marathon, done an iron man, triathlon or has basicall rolled around in the mud in some fitness race thingy-ma-bobber your definitely gonna know about it!
The gym selfie, topless guy. I like a six pack and a good pair of shoulders as much as the next girl but if all your photos are gym selfies and topless pics I'm willing to bet your over-compensating for something… swipe left.
The Vietnam, South America traveller guy. Kudos, you've seen some of the world and you have bragging rights but if I want to see it I'll go there myself, so what else have you done?
Abs guy; See gym selfie guy
The musician. If he plays guitar or drums you're gonna know about it.
The best man. He was his buddy's best man so he should be yours.
Dog guy. If your profile photo is a dog or dogs does that mean its your dog, you like dogs or you look like a dog…. lets be honest I'm not risking it!
The pilot. There's quite a few of these. Can you say On A Layover.
The blurry picture guy. See dog guy, i'm not taking that chance either.
Fishing guy. Wow you caught 2 big fish can you marry me now?!
Back of the head guy. You may as well just be no photo guy. Dude its Tinder!
One photo guy. Look im sure even Quasimodo had one good photo so pony up cos i'm not buying it.
Fake photo guy. Do you really think i don't know that's Channing Tatum!
The one. Hey its happened!
I'd love to know what the Tinder girl clichés are! Might just have to fake it to make that one!
Happy swiping guys!
Zee xx
