What Do Jessica Rabbit And An Arctic Truck Have In Common??

I have to apologize to you all for my sabbatical from the interweb and the blogosphere over the last two weeks. If Facebook and Twitter were Tamagotchi’s they would be dead, or at least starving and with their little screens covered in piles of poo with little stink lines and flies for extra effect. But, that little thing called life has been throwing me quite a few curveballs lately. Nothing catastrophic but it has taken me some time to dodge the dramas, arm the defences, organise a new plan of attack and get my substantially sized arse back into gear! Come to think of it, that leaves me with a story to share... 

My backside has, for as long as i can remember, been the biggest part of me, and on manys a Friday or Saturday night in an effort to look demure and lady like I would chance a figure hugging dress.... much to my mothers dismay. “Ah now Zee you look like Jessica Rabbit in that” was her (almost) weekly verdict. Only and Irish Mammy could turn a comparison to an international (animated) sex symbol into a confidence quenching reference to the enormous size of your arse! Needless to say the bum hugging dresses rarely made it past the kitchen and nine times out of ten i’d swap it for a fuller skater style that grazed my wide load instead of clinging to its extremities and enhancing its enormity, more of a Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz or Alice in Wonderland reference.

The one time out of 10 that i would stick to my guns and waddle out the door defiantly with my bum hugging ensemble was always more of a protest to my mothers blunt honesty. It was the rebellious little child in me saying “Hey mam, I’m well in my twenties now and if I want to wear a dress that makes my arse resemble the back end of an arctic truck well i damn well will!”. Defense for my bottom generally argued that that was the way I was made and there was feck all I can do about it and also that age old Irish saying... “Well I didn’t lick it off the ground!”. 

Despite insults and arguments all humorously accepted, cos lets face it your Mam’s not going to let you walk out of the house looking like and arsehole, it soon became a running joke between myself, my Mam and my best friend. So much so, that my best friend christened my derriere “Jessica”. A name that has stuck and has left some very baffled dressing room attendants on many a shopping trip! 

“How does Jessica look in this??”

So, lets talk! I might live to regret this question, but, have any of you got names for any of your body parts?

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