A Batty Old Bag

My Fashion Festival Dramas Part 1

Early last week in my post about winning the Stylathon I promised I would divulge the details of my mini dramas at Dublin Fashion Festival. I apologise for leaving you all in nail biting suspense (as if) but it has taken me longer to get around to this post than I had initially planned so grab a cuppa and kick back for a good ould giggle at my expense! Don’t worry half of a tram, a handful of models and Courtney Smith already have...

My first little ordeal was early on in the day... DURING the first show on the LUAS. The run up to the show was pleasant, I browsed Topshop, had a coffee and while I was waiting around for the tram to open I had my photo taken for a few Dublin street style blogs, so I was feeling pretty good about myself! 

When it did open its doors I nabbed a seat in the middle of the tram facing the back which I thought was perfectly inconspicuous, but ended up directly in the firing line of the camera and about 2 feet away from style icon and the shows MC, Courtney Smith. Just before the show started I was joined in the seat by a woman in her forties, but after the second model retreated up the tram she asked me if the tram was going anywhere and when my reply was no she made a darting escape before model number three could obstruct the exit. Minutes later I was completely engrossed in the show. 

I find Courtney absolutely hilarious! Her perceived fashion budget is so disconnected from mine, and I’m guessing that of 90 percent of the population these days, to state that a blouse is ONLY €210 completely cracks me up! Pieces only reach investment status in her book when they cross the €500 mark. I have no delusions of grandeur and i know that the pieces in the show were so far beyond the realms of my purse strings that all i could do was dream, but sitting listening to Ms Smith was like a little fashion escapism, because these pieces were ONLY a few hundred euros I could allow myself to dreamily think that yes I could have that beautiful piece in my wardrobe. If i ever need justification for frivolous overspending on a single piece of clothing that may leave some bills going unpaid for that month I can rely on Courtney and for that I love her! The show was amazing. Courtney’s styling was impeccable as usual and the pieces available from BT2 this season are stunning, interestingly, of note, was the menswear. 

At one point completely mesmerized by the parade of fashionable proportions i was verbally assaulted from my left. I turned to see this aggressive grey haired old bat shouting at me to move over because she wanted to sit down. I would like to point out at this moment that i was sitting on the inside seat so it was impossible for me to move over anywhere and the other seat was completely free and unobstructed by me. So i turned to her and said dismissively “I’m not stopping you” and turned back to the show. While she sat down she continued her loud, rude and obnoxious rant and once seated she started shouting at me again to move my leg which was crossed and was nowhere near in her space. At this point I ignored her concluding that the woman had certainly lost her marbles. She wasn’t remotely aware of the models parading up and down the isle, the loud dance music and the woman 2 feet away from her on a microphone! To my HORROR when I did ignore her she began to punch, slap and push my leg to move it!! I mean is this woman for real, you can’t do that, being old and grey does not give you a license to assault people or be a C**T! Anyway at this point I thought Courtney Smith was about to burst out laughing and some other audience members/onlookers faces were frozen open mouthed in a state of shock at her behavior while others were giggling uncontrollably! When the show drew to a close and the crazy old bat saw the cameras she tried to cover her face with her handbag and twist and turn uncomfortably like something out of The Exorcist before she scurried out of the tram and disappeared. 

The experience while being shrouded in hilarity left me feeling completely miffed, what is proper protocol when being attacked by a deranged pensioner in the middle of a fashion show on a tram? Also, if roles were reversed I have no doubt an on looker would have intervened and i probably would have been greeted by An Garda Suiochana when exiting the tram but because this was an elderly “lady” it was dismissed without a second thought by me and everyone else. Equally I’m sure had I reacted as I was entitled to or admittedly as I would have had it been a younger person everyone on the tram would have been horrified and disgusted with me for reprimanding an old woman. Have we been so conditioned into the mentality of respecting our elders that we favor dismissing their disrespecting behavior instead of speaking up and telling them that they are out of line? I’d like to hear your opinions (when you’ve stopped laughing). 

In conclusion and to quote my granny “Thank God we don’t all go the one way...”

Related Posts: